Cancer To-Do List
TEAMS
FORM Teams
If possible, form three teams to lighten the load on your cancer journey. Looking back, I realize how crucial these teams were in helping us get through the difficult times.
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This team will be made up of both conventional and CAM (non-conventional) doctors and advisors.
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This team will be made up of individuals who will support you in various ways throughout your cancer journey.
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This team will be made up of people who will surround you and your family with prayer on your journey.
CONVENTIONAL Medicine
The first part of your medical team will most likely be made up of doctors and other health professionals who practice conventional medicine.
Typically, members of this team will include: primary doctor, surgeon, oncologist, radiation oncologist, specialty oncologists, other specialists (such as a cardiologist), physician assistant, nurse practitioner, and nutritionist/dietitian.
Your list of conventional medical doctors will vary depending on the type of cancer you have and whether or not you have underlying health conditions that need to be monitored by specialists.
Click the link below to learn more about conventional medicine.
Medical Team
CAM (COMPLEMENTARY AND ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE)
The second part of your medical team will most likely be made up of doctors and other health professionals who practice CAM (complementary and alternative medicine).
Examples of this team include: acupuncturist, chiropractor, holistic/integrative doctor, traditional Chinese medicine doctor, biological dentist, nutritionist/dietitian, physical therapist, massage therapist, fitness trainer, psychologist, and counselor.
Click the link below to learn more about CAM.
WE ARE SO GRATEFUL FOR FAMILY SUPPORT!
ACCEPT Help - ASK FOR HELP
Research shows that the strength of one's social support network is a potentially modifiable factor that may have a significant impact on recovery. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34108418/
Have someone in your life help you organize your support team to assist you and your family during this time.
If people aren’t offering help, tell yourself it’s okay to ask for help. Most people would love to help if they only knew what you needed. The obvious place to look for support is family and close friends. If they are not available to you, consider asking neighbors, a local church, a club or organization you belong to, people in your phone contacts, or people on social media who may be willing to help.
Support Team
DAILY ACTIVITIES
Make a list of your daily responsibilities. This way, when people ask how they can help, you can give them options. This will relieve a great deal of stress for you, and will guide those who want to help, but don’t know how.
FREE DOWNLOAD
Download this printable PDF to keep track of your daily responsibilities and friends or family that will help you.
MEALS
Select a friend or group of friends that will prepare school lunches, organize meals for your family, or even assist with juicing. They can use a program such as Calendly or SignUpGenius. We also had long-distance friends mail us food or send restaurant gift cards. This was so kind and helpful!
KIDS
If you have little ones, you’ll need babysitting help. If you have school-aged children, you’ll need help driving them to and from school and other activities. If you have older children, try to select someone who they feel very comfortable with to support them in various ways; this should include being a good listening ear, as this may be a very emotional time for them.
MEDICAL AND RESEARCH HELP
These people do not need to be medical professionals.
Ask someone to buy a 3-ring notebook to keep your medical records organized. Take this notebook to each doctor appointment.
Ask someone to do some or all of the following: accompany you to doctor appointments, ask questions (advocate), make phone calls, access your patient portal, send medical records to another medical facility for a second opinion, make reservations, and research potential treatments.
Seek support in your effort to improve your health – adoption of a healthy diet, resolution of health issues like type 2 diabetes, weight loss, therapy to address fear concerning diagnosis and treatment.
ORGANIZE FUNDRAISING
If needed, a fund may be set up in your name, where people can offer financial assistance. We have supported many families over the years through funding platforms such as GoFundMe or Caring Bridge. These sites can also be helpful for updating family and friends on your journey.
SOCIAL MEDIA
Since social media is such a prominent part of many people’s lives, it could be a source of comfort and encouragement on one hand, or a source of extreme overwhelm and frustration on the other. Task someone with sharing updates that you want to make public, along with responding to questions and private messages.
Supporting each other
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I received a call to encourage a young mom who had been diagnosed. She ended up being the most amazing inspiration to me! We lean on each other.
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My church asked me to call a woman to pray with her. Although we live apart, we have become the closest friends. She has been such an encouragement to me!
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A young dad who is a friend was diagnosed with a form of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. We have learned together as couples, and regularly exchange helpful information.
SUPPORT of A cancer GROUP
Seek a support group of individuals that have gone through, or are also going through, cancer. Your local cancer center where you are being treated may offer cancer support groups. The center may also provide counseling for you and your family. Your church may have a cancer support group. I have learned about an organization called Healing Strong that offers in-person and online support around the country, and I have attended some of their online meetings.
SUPPORT Of close friends or family
Select a few people who will be there for you and your family, and who are extremely supportive of your cancer plan of action. These are people you can unpack your feelings to — a close friend or family member (preferably someone outside of your spouse) — who will not only be a good listener, but speak the truth in love when you need it.
Joel and I leaned on a few very supportive friends and family for emotional help. On the tough days, we both needed people to turn in our darkest moments. We were overwhelmingly grateful for all of the support from our inner-circle community.
In supporting a spouse going through cancer, ask God for discernment regarding when to talk and when to just listen. It can be a bonding experience for a couple like none other, but it can also be a very stressful time that can put a strain on your relationship. Open communication and allowing others to support us helped ease our burden.
SUPPORT OF CO-WORKERS
You and your spouse may need to lean on co-workers or even bosses or mentors in your workplace during this time. It can’t hurt to ask for help or grace with your workload for a short period of time.
support of LICENSED COUNSELOR
It may be very wise to seek the help of a licensed counselor. I chose to hire a professional counselor at one point on our journey to help me process everything that was happening. This support was invaluable. Joel regrets not having counseling.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but we wish we had also scheduled counseling for our children. We spoke with the kids several times about how they were feeling, but they assured us they were handling things well. We later learned they would have benefited greatly from pouring out to a counselor. Counseling can help in many ways.
Prayer Team
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective . . .”
PRAY For the Lord’s Healing & Guidance
Prayer and meditation offer numerous health benefits, such as improved sleep, improved immunity, and decreased stress and anxiety. If you have never prayed before, please start. Prayer is simply talking to God, either silently in your head or out loud, eyes open or eyes closed. There are no rules. It can be a short cry, “Help me, God!” or a more specific plea, “Lord, please give me wisdom to know what treatment I should choose.”
Form the largest possible prayer team to pray during your journey. This will be such a blessing to you and your family. These are some of our favorite messages we received from friends who were praying for us:
"We are praying and believing, like the friends in the story from Mark 2 in the Bible. They lowered their sick friend through a roof to get him to Jesus. We are going to tear off the roof to get Joel to Jesus, and we are holding the corners of the mat. We are all on the mat for you!”
"We are holding up your arms, just like Aaron and Hur did for Moses." Exodus 17:9
Keep a list of specific prayer requests. I keep a list in the "notes" app on my smart phone. Some are my requests, but most are requests for friends and family. I find so much joy in praying for others, and I'm grateful for people who still pray for us.
I want to highlight two verses from the Bible to emphasize the importance of your own personal prayer and that of your prayer team.
Isaiah 38:1-5
“In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, ‘This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.’ Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, ‘Remember, LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.’ And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life.’”
In those still, quiet moments with God, pray as Hezekiah did, and believe! God wants us to share the desires of our hearts with him, but He wants us to trust His will and plan for our lives, no matter the answer.
Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything (even cancer) but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God. . .will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus.”
Whenever I’m anxious, I slowly pray this verse to God and present my requests “. . . And the peace of God. . . does GUARD my heart and mind. . .”
We will be forever grateful to our prayer team. I will never know how many prayed, but I know there were many. I had people tell me that they woke up in the middle of night and were prompted to pray. Often, multiple people would tell me that they prayed at the same exact times.
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We stayed home on Christmas, getting ready for Joel's chemo to begin. We heard singing, so we opened the windows. Our family was spread all over the lawn, holding candles, singing, and holding up this poster.
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I will always treasure this letter from Malia, who was nine years old at the time of my diagnosis. I received so many heartfelt letters of encouragement like this. This still makes me smile that she thought of me!
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A friend put this sticky note on her refrigerator so her family would remember to pray. We had so many people praying for us. We will never know how many, but I’m betting it was a large army.
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A friend sent us many gifts throughout both of our cancer journeys. This basket of gifts arrived around Christmas so I could open a gift each day after my diagnosis. I will never forget how special this made me feel.
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A friend sent me this painting of the Lion of the Tribe of Judah to remind me that the Lord is by my side. She and the painting have brought me comfort through the many trials of the last several years.
Next Up...
track
Having information at your fingertips is an important part of navigating through your cancer diagnosis and treatments. You’ll want to track important information, documenting your steps along the way.